|
"Male and Female Created He Them"
II
(Battle of the Sexes)
by
Allan Turner
Continued from last issue:
The Problem Exacerbated
Furthermore, the curse upon Adam would further exacerbate the
friction that existed between him and his wife. The difficulty of
toiling out a living would cause physical and psychological stress
that would ultimately be carried over into the marriage. The time
necessary to produce a product from the cursed earth would force the
husband to spend much more time away from home. As a result, his
wife might very well feel like she was being neglected. In
addition, the jealousy many husbands feel concerning their
hard-earned paychecks, even though marriage is to be a joint effort,
has served to intensify the battle of the sexes down through the
ages. In many marriages today, the husband has his money and the
wife has her money and “never the twain shall meet.” Obviously,
then, the negative effects of the husband trying to make ends meet
in a world that resists him on every hand are very much with us
today.
The Battle Has Turned Into a Full-Fledged War
The history of man and woman, as well as our own experiences,
demonstrate the real problems created by the consequences of our
first parents’ sins. The unity God intended for His creation was
destroyed by those sins. As a result, the woman would desire to
usurp man’s rule, and the man, if he was to rule, would do so with
great difficulty. Add to these consequences our own sins, and the
battle between the sexes has actually grown into a full-fledged war.
The family, the very fabric of our society, is being destroyed
today. Divorce is rampant. The so-called “traditional family
structure” is being redefined to include unmarried couples and
homosexual liaisons (they call each other “housemates” and
“significant others”).
In addition, the feminist goal, which is nothing short of social,
political, and cultural revolution, has had a dramatic impact in our
day. Whether we like to admit it or not, feminism has converted our
culture to the feminist mind-set. In fact, the feminization of
America is in full-swing. As a so-called “Biblical feminist” has
noted: “Feminism since the early 1960s has begun to color
interpersonal relations, the language we speak, family life, the
educational system, child-rearing practices, politics, business, the
mass media, religion, law, the judicial system, the cultural value
system, and intellectual life” (quoted in Mary Pride, The Way Home,
page 12).
Paradise Lost
As originally created, the male and female were to complete each
other as they enabled one another to fulfill the God-ordained
purpose of procreating and subduing the earth. Neither was to seek
the other’s position, but as half of a whole they were to complement
each other. When sin entered into the world, their distinctive roles
were blurred and their harmonious relationship distorted. Instead of
working together in unity, they began to compete with each other.
Instead of reflecting the glory of God, they began to mirror the
corruption of sin. Their original “oneness” was replaced by a power
struggle that has continued in society ever since. This struggle,
although it does not always manifest itself overtly, does,
nevertheless, lie just below the surface in even the best of
marriages.
Unfortunately, many men, even Christians, “hardened through the
deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13), have engaged in the practice
of “lording it over” their wives. While on the other hand, many
women, even Christians, have become “silly women laden with sins”
(II Timothy 3:6) and have not willingly submitted to the headship of
their husbands. It is sad but true that many Christians, both male
and female, instead of “prov[ing] what is that good and acceptable
and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:1), are actually being guided by
current secular values. Of course, we, of all people, ought to know
that the answer to this problem is not to be found in current
secular thought or even in so-called traditional thinking. Instead,
the answer is to be found in God’s Word, the Bible. It is in this
book that we will find the answer to our problem.
Paradise Restored
A part of the “good news” of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that what
was lost in the Garden of Eden can be restored in Christ. As
faithful followers of the humble Galilean, the husband and wife can
once again become the unit God intended them to be from the very
beginning: the husband, the lov-ing leader who “nourishes and
cherishes” his wife as if she were his own body (Ephesians 5:28,29)
and the wife, the suitable helper who willingly submits to her
husband’s guidance, “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Such a
relationship must be characterized by selflessness, yet it is only
in Christ that one learns to crucify Self. It is only in Christ that
one exchanges the egotistical “I am” of sinful pride for the loving
guidance of the Great I Am. It is only in Christ that two people
will live in the estate of matrimony as God truly intended. Does
this mean that people who are not Christians are not married? No, of
course not. Does it mean that a Christian cannot marry a
non-Christian? Again, no. Well, then, what does it mean? What it
means is that without the restoration that comes in Christ, marriage
will never be, nor can it ever be, what the Lord created it to be;
namely, a relationship of unity that supersedes every other earthly
relationship and in a very wonderful way reflects the unity that
exists between Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). This Bible
truth is a part of that light that illuminates a lost and dying
world (Matthew 5:14). And it is this truth that functions as some of
the salt that preserves our decaying society (Matthew 5:13). If
Christians are not living this truth out in their lives on a regular
basis, then they are no good to themselves or anyone else.
In Titus 2:2, the Word of God informs us that the younger women are
to be taught to be “keepers at home” (KJV) or “home-makers” (NKJV).
As we have already learned, the Bible does not prohibit the wife
from working outside the home, but it does teach that the home is to
be her primary concern. It is unfortunate that the idea of homemaker
is being much maligned in our present day society. It is tragic that
young women and men are being taught that a female cannot really be
happy as a homemaker. It is sad that young girls are being told they
cannot be fulfilled unless they have a career that takes them away
from their homemaking and child-rearing responsibilities. What is
even more tragic is that many Christians have begun to incorporate
these secular values into their own life-styles.
Churches of Christ cannot be negligent in their responsibility to
edify themselves concerning this important subject. We must realize
that young Christians will not be taught their God-ordained roles,
and the duties associated with them, by a secular system inundated
by humanism. Churches owe it to their young people to pass on to
them the richness of the husband and wife relationship as taught in
God’s Word. Furthermore, as husbands and wives, we have the
responsibility to live out our God-ordained roles before our
children. But this is not enough! These roles must be reinforced by
Bible classes that teach the duties and responsibilities, as well as
the benefits, of the husband and wife relationship. In truth, we
have not done a very good job with this subject, and it has
definitely begun to show. The divorce rate among Christians,
although much lower than that reflected in the world, is still much
higher than anyone would have predicted just thirty years ago. Are
we going to wait until the divorce rate among us begins to match the
world’s before we do something about it? If not, then we had better
get busy and lovingly teach on this extremely critical subject
before we find ourselves overshadowed by the horror of darkness that
is engulfing our society. Fellow Christians, we must let our lights
shine.
The Wife And The Home
The place where God put the wife is the husband’s home (notice that
I did not say house). The home is a unique kingdom all its own in
the midst of a hostile world. It’s a stronghold amid life’s storms
and stresses, a refuge, even a sanctuary! The home is unique in that
it is not built on the shifting sands of public life or cultural
changes. The home is an institution (relationship might be a better
word) that has special meaning and value because it has been
especially ordained by God. It’s a place where peace, quietness,
joy, love, purity, discipline, respect, obedience, and happiness is
to dwell. It is the wife’s calling and her pleasure to build up for
her husband a “world within the world,” and do her life’s work
there. How happy and blessed is the woman who realizes just how
great and rich a task and position God has given her! In this
special relationship, the wife occupies a position of permanence,
not novelty; constancy, not flux or change; peace, not antagonism or
adversariness. In this relationship there are actual deeds, not just
empty words; gentle persuasion, not arrogant commands; and, of
course, love, not lust. All these are inspired and sustained by her
love for her husband—this is the wife’s kingdom. “A virtuous woman
[an excellent wife] is the crown of her husband” (Proverbs 12:4).
Conclusion
The traditional family, as defined by secular society, has assumed
the husband to be the superior ruler and the wife to be the inferior
servant. This is far to the right of what God has ordained in His
Word. On the other hand, the feminist movement has swung the
pendulum far to the left in denying the family structure and roles
God has given. Let us, therefore, as Christians, strive for that
golden mean set forth in God’s Word and let us “not be conformed to
this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [our] mind[s],
that [we] may prove [to a lost and dying world] what is that good
and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2). ~
|
